This is my last breathing day of vacation. Tomorrow, I will be back to Guatemala, amidst the hustle n bustle of camionetas, street ventors, fumes, rolling landscapes, being broke and my work. Am I looking forward to going back? I don`t know. So I`ve decided to do the write it out exercise, lucky you. It`s just a little weird this ``I don`t know`` feeling... I`m not the kind to be home sick, be lazy, or miss excessively the obvious comforts of a developed nation.
Picture you, reader, on a windy, lonely beach (or whatever other adjectives you want to add for dramatic effect). You spend the last breathing day on the shore of your mind, looking North, and looking at all your challenges and obstacles: a non-responsive counterpart, a community with too many needs, and an overworked health center that has been left simply numb to it all. Thinking about the frustrations and challenges leave you very tense, and you take one step back from the water. But you then see familiar reflexions in the water: they are the smiling faces, the people and community you know, the web that is now called your life. You know that nothing makes sense to you anywhere else in the world right now, and it is in that very strange land that you find the comforts of your new home.
And I guess even on vacation, those faces have silently creeped behind me, as thoughts swirled about me as to what do do next, who to contact, how to do it, et al. But vacation is always surely needed, and if anything makes you re-evaluate your life. What have I concluded?? Amidst a Mt. Everest-like pile of personal dabbles I won`t bother you with, I have realized this: I am a strange bird. But you knew that didn`t you? Ok, the conclusion is more compound: I, Esther Janaina Spindler, am a strange bird who for the moment being, belongs in a small indigenous community in Guatemala. (Why thank you ``write it out`` exercise!!)
On an editorial note - check out the new fotos, video and gadgets put up during vacation (slowly move your pupils to the right ------)