A perfect day

Esther's feet, 6:34PM Guatemalan Standard time.

Gross... feet. I know, it's not your typical breath-taking Guatemalan picture you were probably expecting to see on my blog. But those are my very happy feet on a friday evening. Right around the time the picture was taken, my feet were excited, having just brought me home after walking, hiking, and living a perfect, happy-hearted day. That's right, I said a perfect day. I'm not even sure I know what a perfect day means, or let alone make you understand how out of the ordinary this particular perfect day was. In a land where rain, inefficiency, miscommunication and culture differences are everywhere, a perfect day is a rarity.

The sequence of events begin early in the morning when I find my glasses I had lost a few weeks ago... I know not a big deal to you, but HUGE to me! I hop on a pick-up out of town to head toward one of my rural villages where I have a meeting with my health post and local village leaders to discuss garbage management solutions. As always, I'm anxious... it's 8:15am, the meeting starts at 9:30, and it usually takes at least an hour and a half to get there. I look down at my skirt, my stupid plastic flats and then up at the cloudy, brewing sky... It'll surely rain, foolish me.

Out of sheer luck, the pick-up I caught a ride out of town with took me all the way to where I could catch the bus directly to my village (this NEVER happens!)... After a 20 mn. windy ride in the back with chickens and local villagers I get off at my stop, shaking off the cold, only to look up and to see none other than my NGO pick-up going right by to go up to my villages.... I jump up and down, throwing my arms, I get their attention, they stop. I get a tough, bumpy ride all the way up to my village. I arrive at 9:15AM! As I shake off my stiff knees from the ride up the mountain I think to myself "that never happens, weird."

Next up, the meeting. In typical Guatemalan fashion, the meeting doesnt start until 1030ish. I'm a little flustered though, out of the many people we invited to the meeting, very few showed up. But I calm myself down, after all, it is Guatemala. The purpose of the meeting is to come to a resolution about the garbage problem in the village (this is the same village where I am doing my recycled bottle project) between local leaders, vendors, sports athletes, and the health commission. Slowly but surely, everything comes together, the mayors are committed to improving garbage management, agreeing to have subsequent meetings with the vendors and sports athletes, finding an appropriate spot to have a land fill, contracting a person to clean the plaza, and there's even talks about enacting an ordinance that would prohibit the use of plastic by vendors!!! Say what??? I'm obviously excited as the health post and leaders agree on meeting dates, and coordinating joint-petitions. As we were ending, the mayors asked to keep the Action plan and follow-up posters we had just elaborated. Again, maybe not a big deal to you, but to me, it meant the world to me. Guatemalans actually caring and being active about garbage management?!??!?! The meeting ends. I feel so happy, overwhelmed as Nelson Mandela must have been at the end of Apartheid (I'm trying to make you understand my heart quivers here folks). I look at the sky again, I'm looking for those stars that seem perfectly aligned just for me, just for today.

I"m happy, but I'm still nervous. I still have another important afternoon meeting at a village next over (where I am also doing my stove and cement floor project). At this meeting, I'm hoping to convince a group of health vigilantes (same thing as promoters but paid), to continue on their workshops and meetings with me although I won't have any money to give them each month. I start the 40 mn. walk over, I look at the sky, it's surely going to rain. I make it to the house right as it begins to rain. Lucky. The atmosphere in the small room is tense. The health vigilantes slowly start strolling in, most of them speaking to me in ki'che. They sit in the empty room. During any other ordinary week, the room would have been filled, tight-quartered with busy ngo workers who coordinate their work with the health vigilantes here.

But on this friday they're not there. They won't be there ever again. The ngo, whose services are rotated in days in three of my rural villages, can no longer work in these villages because there's no more money. The ministry of health can no longer contract out their services, in fact they hadn't gotten paid in months because, well.... the ministry of health is broke. By the time I found out a few days earlier, I was upset, sad, angry at the backwardness of it all, and the ineffeciency of the Guatemalan government. These poor villages (16,000 people) would have no local access to health care services any more. I know right away that I need to convince the different health vigilante groups in these villages to keep going with meetings with me, these groups can't fall apart. But I also know that I don't have 50Q a month to pay them each to come back each month. After all, most of them are very poor and depend on that small amount of money. I have a meeting with Don Alberto, the president of the health commission/vigilantes, he agrees with me, I'm invited to a meeting this friday.

Back to the empty room... The meeting starts late as usal, I give a charla on the importance of hygiene, and then I give them the news. The NGO would no longer be there, they would no longer get money, but I wanted to continue the meetings with them, we couldn't give up, they would be the only health workers and facilitators in the village, the community needed them. As I stood in the awkward silence that followed, I wondered how I, a gringa, had ended up being the person to tell them the news... How would the rest of the villagers find out? Would they just show up to an empty office? My thoughts are interupted by the really fast Ki'che' conversations that are now filling up the room... I desperately look at Don Alberto for any signs of clarity, I can't quite understand all of it, but I know they're not happy. I repeat that I want to continue with them without the NGO, it goes back and forth for about 20 minutes. It's getting late. I suggest they take a confidential vote on whether to continue on or not. They continue to speak in Ki'che', I think I understand, but I'm not sure... Could it be???? They all raise their hands, they're all looking right at me, as someone says, "Why should we do a secret vote, when we are all in agreement?" And then another voice in broken spanish... "You know, we've gotten used to you anyway..."

I feel like crying, I'm so happy, as they ask me things like, "what should we tell the rest of the villagers? where should they go for health services?? Can they still go to the health center in San Andres? what about vaccinations? Should we still tell people to go get their vaccination in the health post in the village next over." And I answer, "yes! yes! YES!!" And the final question..."So when's next month's meeting?"

As I walk out, I wonder to myself... could everything be possibly working right?? There must be a star looking after me. I have two more health vigilantes groups to convince as well in other villages within the coming weeks, but after this meeting, I feel optimistic. After they all leave, I do my last three house visits for my stove and cement floor project with two health vigilantes. It's pouring now, but I don't care, my stupid plastic shoes are sliding all over the mud, but today I don't fall. One by one, we do the visits, suprisingly they're all home. As I finish the last visit, I feel great, I've just finished my very last house visit out of hundreds I've done over the last 5 months.

It's still raining and muddy, and there are no more buses at this hour, I have to hitch a ride. Luckily, as I say goodbye to the health vigilante, I am picked up right away by an old man in an even older pick up that gives me a ride to the main road. On the ride there, the man wants to talk, and talk about.... FAMILY PLANNING! Could I be having this conversation with a 70 year old conservative Guatemalan? I sure was! This never happens. As I get dropped off on the main road, I start walking down to the main town to try to hitch a ride. But not 5 seconds too late, I hear someone trying to get my attention... A company snack vendor says he'll give me a ride into town in his van. Great! This never happens (and he even gave me free gum!)...

As I take my final walk to my bus stop back home, I see my bus patiently waiting for me there... It's all meant to be.... I look down at my dirty feet squished in my stupid plastic flats, and look up at the night sky, I look for her, I look for the star... It's out there somewhere looking at me looking for her. I know right then just for one day, we're one in the same in one perfect day.

Don Alberto - President of the health commission/vigilantes

Mother Nature speaks loud

Dear Esther: How are you doing?

Well, thanks for asking. Personally, I'm busy, I'm happy (besides getting TB, dont worry I'm fine, not active), I'm satisfied. In fact, there are alot of happy happenings I should write to you about. But tonight I feel restless, I need to write to you, whoever you are. I need to write about the world, the madness, and the caustrophobic claws of rainy season.

You guessed it, maybe you read it, it's rainy season. Here in Guatemala, there are no winters, summers, no seasons, except rainy and dry season. Rainy season usually comes each year from a whopping April to November, and during those months, Guatemalans can do nothing more but to go about their everyday lives, amidst floods, mudslides, and wet laundry. I didn't quite undertand it all last year... Truth is we were quite spoiled then... We were so spoiled that the Eastern part of the country repaid our lack of rain with extreme droughts and dying malnutrioned children.

But I suppose that the malnutritioned children weren't enough to pay for the moderately dry rainy season last year. This year, mother nature decided it was time for pay back for last year's screw up. She's given us several hurricanes, including the now famously royal Hurrica Agatha, a few hundred deaths, thousands of displaced families, and millions of dollars in infrastructure damage that will take years to recover.

This weekend was no different. No, we didn't get another hurricane, just a few days of steady rain. But that's all it took. These rains were able to do impressive damage, primarily due to the messed up infrastructure damaged this year from earlier hurricanes. These simple weekend rains have in a matter of hours ondone all of the reconstruction work that has been accomplished after Agatha.

So as I sit on a Sunday night sheltered safely in my house from the rain, I learn of the brand new thousands of families being displaced this weekend, and of numerous unfortunate mudslide incidents, one of which buried 100 people trying to help dig a bus out of the very same mudslide. So I'm usually happy, but tonight I feel extremely sad, I feel angry, and restless for these 100 people that were just trying to help. I suppose most of us going into Peace Corps fantasize ourselves being put in some sort of dramatic situation, but I guess we never imagine ourselves being in the drama of it all, drinking hot tea, measuring the growing wet spots on our wall and feeling absolutely useless and helpless to it all. No, tonight, we'll just numbingly check our facebook and try not to think about it at all.

Guatemala isn't alone, Mexico has paid a steep price, the list goes on, Chile, China, Pakistan, et al. It makes me wonder and it should make you wonder, where this world is going. Right now I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I wonder if these events are mother nature's way of telling us STOP SCREWING ME OVER DOUCHE BAGS!!! I wonder this as I wander my own villages smelling the smoke, wandering past huge garbage landfills by breathing communities and open fires vibrating of plastic garbage.

So yes, you guessed it, I am sad by the way that this world is going right now. I am sad at us, human beings, who have stopped caring about people and the land we walk on. We've blinded ourseves to these man-made tragedies around us for a simple christmas bonus. I wish more people would be angry at these broken records: the earquakes, the hurricanes, monsoons, the oil spill, or heck, the 72 immigrants slaughtered in mexico and the damned politicians that are dooming us all.

Ok friend, this is where I stop before this just turns into a rant. I know this is dark, I know this is sad, but I'm not apologizing, I thought that you should feel the sadness of it all too.

Saludos,

Multi-tasking in the rain

Well, it's rainy season alright, and right about now my clothes I spent all day washing are getting just about absolutely soaked on my patio. I suppose I should take them off, but there's too many, and I have nowhere to put them in my house where they won't get everything else soaked. Besides I'm a naive optimist... They'll dry tomorrow right? Right....

Ok, check! Winy blog moment is now over. Well, it's sunday, and just like in the States, I'm still repeating the same familiar phrase to myself over and over again: I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORKKKKKK!!!!!!!! I guess some things never change.

But I enjoy work, I do, work here is well... a bit different. It's not so much having to stare at a computer screen for too long, or getting stressed out about dead-lines but rather putting a smile on, a positive attitude with counterparts that are sometimes hard to work with, and multi-tasking different projects and completely different types of work. What am I currently multi-tasking?? Well, there is the ever-going bottle project (we are expecting to hopefully start building the benches in September), getting electricity and equipment for a new health post in one of my villages, getting a new water pump for my health center, helping to organize a youth sports "camp", prepping for projects for funding we will be getting in part of the HIV Committee here and of course, as always, my stove and cement floor project. But I love it all, I do, but like any human being I doubt wether I can actually do it all.

There is a saying here, which goes by "Poco a poco", or little by little. I think that's sort of the Peace Corps moto in general, it sure ain't a race, and when you're trying to balance all these different projects well, sugar, 2 years ain't nothing at all.

But I'll keep my head grounded and I'll chat about the projects I'm most excited about... Here it goes... Recently a few teenagers here approached me to form a youth commission in one of my villages. Of course, I was stolked!! How could I say no?? Right now these teenagers are trying to organize two days of sports, games and events for the youths in the aldea. Problem is.... They have no idea what they are doing! So I am trying to guide them, and giving them the responsibility of doing most of the work (getting tropies, water, refs, invitations et al). I suppose the kids thought I was going to do it all, and I think they were quite surprised when I told them that this was THEIR project and that they needed to do most of the work.... I know you must think I'm pretty mean. But we're talking about sustainability here folks, and if these kids can pull through and actually have a succesfull event, they will be able to do anything, and most importantly they will BELIEVE that they can do anything else too. It's a larger self-esteem charla under wraps here folks! We have our first meeting with the mayor tomorrow about it and I think the kids are super nervous!

Moving on... My poorest village here (also the one where I am doing my improved stove and cement floor project)recently had a health post built. This is the village where I have been doing most of my work and honestly, it's been a struggle to get this health post open. The health ministry agreed to build the health post, but it still remains unequipped and without electricity. We just had a meeting with the local mayors, and it looks like we will be able to have an "assamblea" or community meeting about the problem. The idea is to have the people themselves help build tables, chairs, non-medical equipment for the health post, so they can feel as if they truly own this project. But the health post has a long way to go, it is very small (the village's population is 9,000), and does not even an adequate coat of paint!:



The bottle project is going poco a poco, I'm still a little disappointed to see that the main sports field, where we will be building the benches, still has garbage! One of the other ideas that we've had to promote awareness about the problem is to have a monthly "movie" documentary night with kids from the school and their parents... (If you have any documentaries in Spanish pleaseeeee let me know!!)... We were also thinking of integrating a scavenger hunt based upon garbage collection and environmental education during the youth sports camp I previously talked about. Anyway, all in all, promoting behavior change about the problem here sure isn't gonna happen just with this bottle project! Either way it's super cute to see these kids excited about their bottles (check out the kid in the middle with his HUGE bottle!!):



And last, but definitely not least, is the main project I've been working on: the stove and cement floor projects. I've been doing my home visits now since
May, and although I started off not liking them, I've really gotten to enjoy the home visit days... At first, they can be quite a debbie downer... You're never quite sure what's more depressing: seeing the conditions and problems in these homes or feeling yourself get used to it, as they do, as if it were part of your every day life. After many home visits, you become numb, a robot, and you have to constantly remind yourself that these are not normal conditions, that these are things that can be changed. I suppose that's why I usually only do 5 visits a day... But I guess that's where my project is for right? Anyway I've narrowed down the families I want to work with, and they've agreed to come to all the health lessons planned in order to receive their project. Although I was a little hesitant about the project at first, I've gotten alot more comfortable and confident about it, especially as I've gotten closer to each of these 50 families. But what about funding? Well, I have the chance to use a SPA project through USAID, butttt I'm having a hard time getting my community and muni to give the 30% community contribution that SPA requires. SOooooo it's onto the next best thing... fundraising. Ew, I know. But I'm currently working on an oober fancy fundraising page that will blow your mind away. So keep your eyes open, and help a sista out!

Well that's all for now, I'll leave you with a oober cute pic taken during one of my house visits:

Forgiveth

I forgot my mom's birthday for the first time in my life. I'm not sure that you care, but I thought that maybe telling you this would make you forgive my lack of blog posting in the last few months.

But really I did, and to tell you the truth, it's been a little tough for me to remember what month I'm in, let alone the days, so I guess that's my excuse for being a total incomunicada jerk.

Sorry mum! Sorry reader! And now that I think about it, I even forgot to call the pops for father's day. Damn it. Sorry dad! Happy Father's day!

Now where to start, where to begin with the jumble of words that are supposed to make you understand my life....

I guess I'll start with what I am doing at this exact moment. Right now, I am enjoying a glass of orange juice, at a cozy wi-fi cafe in the comforts of Antigua, watching the Ghana vs. Australia game. World Cup fever has not escaped me, and I find myself trying to catch glimpses of games, in and out of errands and work. I guess not so much has changed in my life in that aspect. I don't think that the Guatemalan team has ever made it to the world cup, but still the fever is boiling here too, with most guatemalans cheering for brazil, honduras and mexico. I guess they must still be pissed at the US for the Arizona fiasco. Can't blame them. Anyway that's what I am watching right now, sipping my OJ, and of course writing to you.

I've been around Antigua, aka touristy Gringo haven, for about a week now. It's not my favorite spot in the world, but most of our training towns are located around here, and I've been busy lately working with the new trainees that have just arrived from my program. It seems incredible to me that I've now become a mentor; it seems that just yesterday I was at home watching yet another soccer game in a local NY Irish pub. And now over a year later, I'm comfortably home giving advice about how to do my job. It's a weird feeling and a reminder that two years of your life is nothing at all. I find myself jealous of this new training group... Of the bond they have, and the whole two years they have ahead of themselves. In sum, I feel like I am already running out of time, and getting antsy trying to figure out my life once again as I have a year left to make my decisions. Many of my close PCV friends are also leaving here next month, and I am feeling very sad and weird about it. But I guess that's life, nothing great can last forever right? It must always end; if not it, could never have been great at all.

This past week, a few of us were helping each training group set up their own HIV workshop in their own towns, and I was very happy about the outcome. In the end, they ended up giving the workshop to a total of 450 youths and service providers! woohooooooo

I was also lucky enough to spend this week with my host family from training and it was really great to bond with them again and have some culturally awkward moments I remember so well from training. One particular moment was when I was trying to explain the plot of the movie "Lars and the Real Girl"... Here was my try, which of course was all lost in translation: -"It's a movie about a guy who falls in love with a doll... It's really funny actually... No really... He has mental problems... And he thinks that this doll is his girlfriend... Really it's sooooo funny..." And as I am laughing, I just look at my host family who are just just looking at me with blank stares in utter discomfort... I guess I should have thought better, that's not the typical movie you talk about in conservative Guatemala.

The week before, trainees also came to my town to learn about the health care system and to practice giving their charlas. Although I was a bit stressed about it, the week went extremely well and I was very proud of them. It was great to see the change in them and how they become more confident about their service by the end of the week.

It's been a little difficult to get a lot of work done at my site because I have been so busy with this training group, and I am looking forward to returning home and getting my ass in gear! What does my agenda look like these days? Well, I am finishing up my first round of house visits for the improved stove project we will be doing in one of my aldeas. The project will be done with 60 families, although the number will probably go down. These families will also receive two months of health charlas in order to improve their health and hygiene conditions in their homes. Many families cook under open fires with smoke that fill up their small homes and lungs. What's the result? Child mortality. Many children have chronic malnutrition, and when you combine this with unhygenic living conditions you end with Acute Respiratory Infections. Pneumonia is the number one cause of death in Guatemala, followed by diarrhea in small children. These are all preventable. To sum it up, that's what this stove project is about, picking the neediest, poorest families, giving them an improved stove but also educating them in the process as well in disease prevention. Want to know more? Don't worry, you will be getting a letter begging for money from me, explaining this in more detail.

I am also in the process of doing a recycled bottle project in another aldea. Garbage and contamination is a huge problem there, and this project aims to educate concientizate (is that a word??) the community about the problem. Each plastic bottle is stuffed with inorganic, plastic trash, which are then used to build different infrastructure. Come to think about it, I think I already wrote about this in another entry! In my aldea we will be building 10 benches and the walls for two letrines. We hope to get about 3,000 bottles with the participation of students and youths! The aldea right now does not have any letrines in its outdoor community "center", and as a result many of the athletes, market vendors, et al, go do their business in the super contaminated river behing the health post, where many women wash and bathe themselves... Since this aldea does not have any running water, many women have no other option but to wash and bathe there...

Ok this entry is running long, sorry. As far as other things, I am still working alot with midwives and my health promoters groups. OH and I completely forgot to mention that I will be getting a volunteer from my program in one of my aldeas in JUly! I am very excited to get an extra person here to collaborate with me, to take some load off my shoulders, and to give special, and full attention to this village since I haven't been able to do that.

I suppose I should explain real quick how my municipality works. I live in the urban center of my municipality, however I also work in five other rural mountain villages that are part of my munipality. As you can imagine, it's been tough to spreadd myself so thin, and I amm excited that at least one of these villages will now have a volunteer living and working there full time!

In other news, some of you may have heard that Guatemala was recently hit with a bad hurricane at the end of May. Don't worry I am fine, one of my villages was hit pretty bad, but fortunatelyy no casualties. The rest of Guatemala was not so lucky, as many communities were flooded for days, and mudslides blocked many highways. Many people unfortunately lost their lives. So please I ask you not to worry about me, but worry about them. I recently did a food and clothes drive for the victims affected in that village with my local middle school, and I was happy to see so many people contributing... Although I am happy that the country has come together in this time of need, it seems sad to me that it always takes a catastrope to remind people about humanity.

Ok, you've probably stopped reading by now, so I will leave you with some photos>

This is an example of the recycled bottle project construction in a nearby community. The volunteer there is currently building a classroom


An example of an open cooking fire...


One of the mudslide in one of the hiking trails up to one of villages caused by Hurricane Agatha...


Sleepy milpa during a 530AM walk with the pup... My favorite time of the day...